A Strange Way to Die

Time after time your parents have told you to do multiple things. Things such as 'eat your vegetables' or 'take a shower." Quite honestly, do the majority of kids listen? Nope. I'm sure the percentage of kids who do listen, probably only listen because their parents are rather strict, they actually like vegetables or they just got tired of their terribly greasy hair.

Something else parents continuously tell their kids to do is not watch too much television. If there were to be a survey on what parents repeat to their children all the time, this would most likely be in the top 5. The reaction kids take to this is either change the channel and pray they won't notice or turn it off, go away for a few minutes, then come back and turn it back on.

Since parents seem to be neglected all the time when they tell their children to shut off the damn T.V, parents decided to take a new approach to this. They took note on what their children watch and studies show it's mostly cartoons and crimes. Mind you, this stuff dates back to when the television was first invented, so, the television had a huge impact too quickly. Anyways, parents thought of a way to get through to their children thanks to the children's dirty deeds themselves. Parents decided to threaten their children.

Yes, parents threaten their own children. Well, it made perfect sense. Television shows were always so repetitive and most of it was "Gimme your money or else..." or "I'll blow her brains out if you don't cough up the cash." Now, before you jump to conclusions, parents did not threaten to blow their child's brains out if they didn't shut off the television (however, I think that may have been more effective). Instead, they took a sci-fi turn and made up sad, pathetic stories children easily believed.

You probably know what their threat was since it's been quite (in)famous now-a-days, but what you don't know is that it is indeed true. Many of these occurrences went unidentified and unmentioned to the public, but one story got out. After all, government secrecy has its holes.


Little Freddy tapped his foot on the floor and stared anxiously at the clock that hung on the wall of the classroom. It was around the late 70's, early 80's. His mom was at home cooking a dinner that everybody wished their mom would cook, his dad was under the car sweating like a dog trying to figure out what caused the car to stall and his dog Banjo was at his mother's heels licking his chops. Now, perfect scenario, but is this what Little Freddy was tapping his foot ever so anxiously for?

No! He was tapping his foot and staring anxiously at the clock because of what was waiting for him in the living room. Because of that little box that had what seemed like two antennas sticking out of it's top and a limited amount of channels kids now-a-days would throw their head back and laugh. Because of that goddamn television set.

You can only imagine how quickly that little boy ran when the bell rang. When he ran up the driveway to see his dad under the car, he didn't even stop, but mumbled a hi. When he zoomed past his mom, he once again mumbled a hi. He didn't even acknowledge Banjo who started to wag his tail viciously.

He threw his backpack in the middle of the hallway and raced to where the remote was waiting for him on the coffee table. He didn't even wait to sit down to turn on the T.V. In fact, he turned it on, and then sat down right in front of it. (Now, this was something else parents always scolded their children for: sitting too close to the T.V, but that's not what this is about.)

Nearly automatically, his jaw dropped and his eyes widened as the pixilated animation danced across his eyes to advertise a new detergent.

His mom took a rather quick notification, dried her hands with a dishtowel and then walked into the living room, dishtowel in hand. When she saw him fixated on the floor in a mere second, she sighed, but changed her tone. (She's been discovering some ways to get through to her child without getting them angry.) "Hi, sweetie, how was your day?"

"Good, mom." He barely mumbled. For all his mother knew, he could've said something else.

"I'm making your favorite meal," she said (this was absolutely true). All she got from him was "Great." Figuring she'd get back to him in a few, she walked back into the kitchen defeated, this time without the dog following on her heels.

Banjo, the family dog everyone loved. Little Freddy used to always play with Banjo and Banjo always looked forward to Little Freddy's homecomings. He would jump at him and bark playfully, like he's doing now. Little Freddy barely notices.

Unfortunately enough, ever since Little Freddy got glued to the T.V, Banjo has not had his afternoon activities and is getting unhealthy since Little Freddy is continuously feeding him his dinners (the whole meal, mind you) so he could claim he is finished eating and then run back to his beloved television set. Now, Banjo is getting terribly fat and the family will later regret not taking notice.

An hour has passed and it is now dinner time. His mother went into the living room to fetch Little Freddy and when he would not answer her calls, she walked up to him. The light from the television caused a ghastly expression on Little Freddy's face. His mother gasped and stepped back a little.

She shook it off, thinking herself crazy, and claimed it's just because he's been lacking in sleep that there are dark circles under his eyes. "Sweetie, dinner's ready," she said, a little shaky.

"Okay, mom," he muttered, his voice a little raspy. Since his tone of voice seemed rather, let's say, unwelcoming, his mother walked away and went to confront her husband. She never was a type to get mad or upset at her child; she loved her son dearly.

His father was not strict and definitely loved his son. He was the type of father that would take his family out to picnics or fly kites with his family. However, when there was ever any disobedience, he made sure he was heard by those who disobeyed.

"Where's Freddy? I wanted to ask if he wanted to come to work with me on Saturday," his father said when his mother walked in, with a frown upon her face. His father loved to take his son to work because he loved to show him how he worked and how strong he was. On a regular, normal day to day basis, Little Freddy loved to go to work with his father because there was always free candy in the office.

"Stan," she started, sitting herself at the table, "I think Freddy's watching too much T.V."

"Well, then Greta, tell him to turn it off," he said. He found this rather absurd since his wife seemed so shaken up about this.

She simply chuckled. "That doesn't have any affect anymore."

Hearing this from his wife in such a desperate state, Freddy's father stood up and went to the living room thinking he would solve this problem himself. He turned on the lights as soon as he walked in, causing his son to spin around as fast as a bullet.

When his father saw Little Freddy's angry expression (and it wasn't the expression itself), his jaw dropped and was slightly taken aback.

His skin seemed a lot paler, with maybe a hint of green, and dull than usual. His skin was never dull, it was always glowing. His eyes were thickly outlined with black circles and he, himself, seemed to have dulled out completely. His rich brown hair wasn't even that rich anymore.

His father made a motive to not back down. "Freddy, you're mother and I think you are watching way too much T.V. for your own health. Now, be a good boy and shut off that T.V. and join your mother and I for dinner." By now, he had inched closer to his son, and was now standing a little bit behind him. Little Freddy kept his faded eyes on him.

"Turn off the lights," he simply growled.

It took a lot to get his father severely angry and his father made sure not to get angry. So, his father cracked an uneasy smile and said, "You know, son, watching too much television will turn your brain to mush and you'll turn into a zombie."

At work, one of his friends told him that when his daughter started watching too much T.V, he simply told her that if she watched too much T.V, she'll turn into a zombie and his daughter listened and hasn't watched T.V. since. Little Freddy's father thought he won this.

Little Freddy's pale lips curved into a smile. "So, you're saying if I watch too much T.V, I'll die?"
For all of the most highest, advanced doctors, this seemed to be such a mystery. All the best doctors from all over, nearly every state, gathered in a conference and thought of all the possible reasons to why they couldn't figure this out.

"Maybe it's just a hoax," a doctor from New York said.

"There is no possible way," a doctor from Washington argued.

Each doctor examined this little boy that his parents brought into the emergency room. They ran tests, they used the most advanced technology, they did everything they thought would work, they all stayed up late to try to figure out an explanation.

There was absolutely no way this could be possible. Each doctor agreed with this statement and they called in detectives, anyone who could solve such a mystery. Of course, all of this was kept unsaid.

The highest, most unusual detectives were brought into this. They all examined the body themselves, stayed up all night, ran tests, used the highest technology. Then, they did something not even the doctors thought of: They interviewed Little Freddy's parents.

They were brought into a little room in California (they originally lived in Oregon). His mother was in tears and did her best to hold them in and his father was doing his best to keep himself together. After all, losing a son is hard to bear. Now, this was very different for his parents, considering their situation.

The detective that the government claimed to be the best detective claimed he couldn't give his name and set some standards that took nearly everyone (or those who knew) by surprise. When I said the most unusual detective, this is who I am speaking of. Just like every case this detective took, everyone thought that it was the most bizarre and unusual way for a detective to work. But that is what this case needed, being unusual of the sort.

"I've spoken to the government and as anyone knows, this is by far one of the most unusual cases to ever occur. Considering the circumstances, I have conjured up a way to best handle this situation. Now, I have solved this case and you will find it hard to believe."

His mother gasped and just wanted to know how her son died. She obviously had a narrow way of thinking. His father stared at this man and automatically knew that both his wife and himself will have to go through some obstacles.

"You're son Fred, was in a very unusual state when you brought him in. What happened before you brought him in?"

His father answered this. "Well, I was talking to him about how he watched too much T.V. and, I know this is immature, but I told him that if he watched too much T.V he would turn into a zombie. Then, he got rather upset and then, ran out the door."

"Oh, was my son murdered?" his mother begged, clinging onto her tissue.

The detective let out a sigh. "When you brought him in, Mr. and Mrs. Maguire, we found him to already be at least 2 weeks dead."


Even though they did their best to come up with a natural, reasonable solution as to why and how Little Freddy died, their claim that he had already been 2 weeks dead was the most natural and reasonable solution. The only ones who knew and actually believed this answer was those who examined the body. Yes, the parents knew, but they didn't believe it.

A case like this can cause some horrid after shocks, and, yes, it did for poor Little Freddy's parents. The government moved them to Maine under new names and had to fake their death. The headlines the public saw in their local newspaper were, "Whole Family Vanishes While Going Out For A Picnic In Local National Park." It after all, was very believable.

Little Freddy's body was still being examined as technology advanced. The unusual detective shook his head and wished they would just let sleeping dogs lie. He knew what the cause of death was, even though not a soul truly believed it.

"He died from watching too much television," he told himself one afternoon, while sipping a cup of coffee.